The Woe of being Singaporean

Because everybody’s (read: the MMan himself) now into the subtle here’s-why-it’s-actually-not-all-bed-of-roses-for-Singapore-talk, Here’s three – three which can never be changed, anyway.

1. National Service – Needs no elaboration. Anyway, it’s not the 6 months one found in (now conscription-less) Germany or the <12 months because-i-live-in-the-militarily-ambivalent-state-of-Switzerland one, but the 22-24 month “i’m-gonna-lose-two-years-of-my-prime-because-of-this” one in Singapore. Of course, we factually have the longest NS period, amongst the democratic states of the developed world, that is. Then again, is irrevocable, considering we do need some sense of defence, no?

2. Bilingualism – Because “being good” in two languages means you’re generally only mediocre at both. Explains why trilingual Malaysia is not what you would call, trilingual. You know pseudobilingualism when you hear the general population going something like:

“Eh,  你这个 Saturday 有没有空去 clubbing ah?”
“Aiyah, 不可以 la, Monday 要 hand up Project.
“Orh, PW 的 project arh?”
“不是 la, normal project lor.”
“Orh, 你这样是在读 Poly ah?”
“Eh, 你的 results 不错 leh, 为什么不要去 JC leh?”
“不可以 la, 我的 GP 不好 la”

Honestly, I wouldn’t exactly know how to converse that entirely in Chinese too?

3. Lack of cultural roots – which is why we always make lousy Chinese Dramas, cringe-worthy English Dramas, shun the annual local films during CNY season, wonder why we have to close down the Lions and finally realise the “Creative Industry” is actually the painful alternative to the “Productive Industry”. Also ultimately the reason why our universities are authentically schools of vocation-driven studies, not “Liberal Arts Colleges” we hope they might be (through tie-ups and whatsnot). And hence also, why we will never have these people and many others.

Depressing truth, but hey, could at least do with being grateful for everything else nonetheless.